Diary of Arbor Gold part III
My travels on the Firefly, entry 3
O thou Huul za Khrolkaar,
That ever art abiding with me,
Though I may not thee see or hear,
Yet devoutly with trust I pray to thee.
It’s after a long and curious day that I finally find some time to make note of everything that’s happened. For the first time in my life I write not to my lord and god but to myself. I have many thoughts and feelings and I’m not sure I can craft an orderly, balanced account of what I’ve seen and experienced until I talk about it here.
Many things have happened—enchanting music was played, battles were fought, strategic conversations carried out in hushed tones, a plague defeated, a cult discovered, and much more. But this is all the daily wiffle waffle of we earthly children of the God of Numbers, and therefore the details and minutiae do not bear recording. (Plus, I’ve seen my companions scribbling in their own tomes and it occurs to me that should any of the details of this journey need to be recalled for some future purpose, there will be plenty of records to draw from. Adric, in particular, seems learned, obedient, and above all committed to his duties.)
My mind is racing not because my faith has been tested but because I’ve lost track of my balance sheet. I know where it is located of course (‘neath my cloak tucked into a hidden pocket in the lining) but I mean I’ve lost mental and spiritual track of it. I put it aside (Khrolkaar save me) because I’ve become distracted. For the first time in my life I have been focused not on my tallies but on my companions and the new things I am learning—the world around me holds myriad wonders and try as I might I cannot look away from them.
I learned of a curious—but extremely promising, I think—ritual from Syndirri, who, as I’ve mentioned before in these pages, is a follower of Umberlee. It demands a great deal of devotion and loyalty but if those things are abundant, the ritual seems to result in great learnings. I also heard music our sworddancer Delilah played on her enchanted, stringed instrument. (It looks very much like (and plays like) a small harp that you hold sideways and that’s attached to a long “neck.”) As I listened to her music I felt a vibration from within, starting in my heart and spreading to the tips of my toes and my fingers. I felt as if I was floating, but floating while also being very, very heavy. I can’t explain it. It’s not like the ecstasy I’ve felt after my long fasts in honor of Khrolkaar but it’s not precisely unlike it either.
I’ve also been keen on observing my companions Tlex and Adric who seem to both be devoted followers of their own faiths. I don’t fully understand how they worship or who they must kill to please their gods, but I assume I will learn that in due time. I also wonder about our companion Kozaar who seems to have quite a strong connection to some sort of “angel” which I assume is a lesser deity of some kind?
I guess what I’m saying is that I am learning quite a bit—and more and more every day. I fall asleep at night my head full of new thoughts and ideas. I don’t know where it’s taking me but I know I must find a way to refocus on my tally. I can’t let foreign religions and ideas, no matter how stimulating, knock me off my path.
I am not translating this into goblin for this is for my eyes only. It is, god save me, not for my lord.